Tuesday, September 7, 2010

The Girl Drama Behind the Trojan War--xoxo, Gossip Girl

Most people, like myself, probably have only a vague idea of the Trojan War, that some girl named Helen was kidnapped, that Odysseus made some great journey, and that Brad Pitt has a nice butt. But alas, the true cause of the war is deeper than that; as you should know, all Gods have egos.

Paris is probably the catalyst in everything, not necessarily the one responsible as the Gods have their clever way of working through thid parties to achieve what they want. It all started when Paris was born. It was divined that the son of Priam, King of Troy, would one day destroy Troy. As no King would want his magnificent oyster plundered, he gave his son to his servants and commanded them to kill him. Of course, knowing what we know, Paris lives--due to the servants' lack of cold-heartedness Paris is abandoned on the side of a mountain where a shepard finds him and raises him. Once Paris is grown he meets King Priam, who shows interst in his cattle for show at a fair, andeventually proves himself at the games (something akin to the Olympics). It is then that Priam welcomes Paris back into the family.

The story goes on with a deal between the Gods. Odysseus, Menelaus, and Agamemnon fight over Helen, some sort of gift from Zeus. The winner gets to take Helen as his bride. Odysseus wins but insists that Menelaus should have her and opts for Penelope. Helen is given to Menelaus and becomes his wife. It is then agreed that the Gods will defend their marriage and defeat anyone who tries to break the union. See, isn't this dramatic?

Sooo....more drama. Achilles is the focus of the Iliad--the story is that neither Agamemnon nor Menelaus wanted to marry Thetis because it is divined that the son of Thetis will usurp the power of his father (they really bank on divination). So Agamemnon and Menelaus set up the marriage between Peleus (a mortal) and Thetis. Achilles is born, though half-mortal. Thetis loves her son so much, however, that she wants to make him immortal. It is said that she tries throwing him in a fire, but the most commonly accepted story is that she dunks him in the River Stix, with her fist tightly wound over one of his ankles--thus that one spot of his body remains mortal. So that is Achilles.

The marriage of Thetis and Peleus is an important one. Zeus throws a huge party, and he purposely leaves out the Goddess of Strife, Eris. She goes apeshit and decides to crash the party! She brings an apple to the ball and proceeds to tell Zeus to give the apple to the prettiest girl at the party. Zeus is too chicken and gives the apple to Paris to decide (we are back to when Paris was in his late teens). Paris deliberates between several women, finally deciding on Aphrodite who promises to give him Helen if she is given the apple. Paris accepts. He takes Helen. Then the Trojan War!!!!

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